so that wasnt chicken after all
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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