It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the day after is always just damage control
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
