Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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