Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
