It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize