your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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