U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
