it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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