Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
