so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
