I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
