come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
