Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
