Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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