That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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