I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
