i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
