Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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