fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
