Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
