Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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