Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize