Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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