the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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