I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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