Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize