its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
the room spins SO much faster in panama
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
