Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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