Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
