I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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