y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
3pm strippers are depressing
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
