Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
