Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
