After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
