apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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