Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
