my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
