Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
