why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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