you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
