I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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