Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
