i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
