ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We are two peas in an std pod
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize