you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
40s are totally the cure
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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