i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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