can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
