thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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