Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
