Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
