So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize