we have officially lost it.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
