i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
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