Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
