I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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