He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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