so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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