i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
