Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
