my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize