can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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