wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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