Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I don't deserve a penis
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
