well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
