Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
