nut hugger
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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