Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
