ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
