THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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