1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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