well I can't set my house on fire every night
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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