but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
