Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
