'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
